"Interview B1"
F: What do you want your children to learn in their childhood?
A: I want them to learn respect and I want them to be disciplined.
F: What are the most important things in your culture which you want to teach your children?
A: Respect….. the same….and also the heritage. Where they come from. Just to make sure that they remember where they come from.
F: How do you teach your children those “important things”?
A:By…..telling them where I come from, telling them how I grew up, and ja… telling them how their grand-parents grew up as well…. F: and how do they learn the respect? A: I teach them the respect. F: how? A: By telling them to respect the eldest and respect one another not just the eldest but every one.
F: How can the transfer of the culture to the child work in general?
A: You mean how do I, can one teach them that… F:ja.... A: By by actively doing it as well, by doing it, by setting examples to them to be an example to my children.
F:Is there a difference, in your perspective in teaching while living in your cultural background or in a foreign one (in Germany)?
A: Ah well, It depends, I suppose, there is a difference, because ahm, you get different cultures that teaches ahm or that has a different way of of of raising their children. And I see differences in the way my parents raised me, the way my sisters are raising their kids, as to how my…how I see people in England that I’ve met raise their children and I also see ahm, how my, my sister in law ahm, raises her children; my sister in law and my brother in law, raise their children, and I see there is a bit of a difference...not just a bit of difference, but sometimes I can see a big difference.
F:Is it more difficult to teach them your culture in Germany?
A: I suppose so, it would be more difficult, because, ahm I’m I’m, with my, my ahm in-laws and they have a way of doing things, and I’m the only one and I’m the only one having to a kind of and tying to install in them a certain type of respect, I mean I’m not saying that the respect is different in Germany than in South Africa, but it’s just the way…the way it’s taught.
F:Can you always follow your own values in front of your children?
A: Ähm…..I didn’t hear that…..hahaha. It’s difficult, it’s difficult, obviously, I mean, ahm ja I think ahm, no, it shouldn’t be difficult I know my values and I’m defined by my values. I’m not gonna to change my values. F: but sometimes it’s hard? A: Sometimes it’s hard.
F: If you also understand some of the values of your partner’s culture, do you sometimes move away from your own into the understanding of the other one?
A:Yes, I mean it’s a good thing. Because you can, what I found, I’ve learnt certain aspects or values, that is important to my wife and to her family it’s a little bit different to my values and But we compromise and there is a middle ground, but sometimes reach that middle ground, but sometimes ja it’s compromise….
F:Do you sometimes feel like there are to voices in yourself who are fighting with each other? A: My doctor said I mustn’ t talk about that. So ja….
F: So you can’t tell me what you do then?
A: Ja, okay….To be honest, ja, you usually tend to have, or at least I tend to have two voices in my head…sometimes you have to listen to both of these crazy voices…Sometimes both are crazy…sometimes there are three….sometimes they are one good and one bad. Or one good one bad and one that’s in between.
F: Do your children follow your values only if you are there?
A: I don’t know, but I think they are still a little bit young, a little bit young to understand those values…but I should hope, that their mother ahm installs the same type of values but the basic values are the same.
F: How good do you think will be the success of your partner in teaching your children her values?
A: I think she will be more successful, than myself because she spends more time…. with the children and because she’s in her own culture.
F:How can culture be conveyed to children in your perspective?
A: I don’t know. Ahm…. It can be conveyed in stories, in…ahm … I don’t know, in ja mainly stories and history, telling them about the history ahm and ja….and just living my culture.